Between Iraq and a Hard Place

Worshippers at the altar of his reverence Sir Tony of the Garter will be proud to recall the great man's role in wog-bombing Iraq towards the adoption of universal British values. Nearly two decades on, these supreme outgrowths of Western liberalism have put down such sturdy roots that a member of the master race may suffer the death penalty for following in the footsteps of Lord Elgin. A British geologist has been arrested on suspicion of smuggling pottery fragments out of the country; his family have asked Her Majesty's Government to intervene, but at present the Minister for Wogs, Frogs and Huns has bigger backs to stab. Given the record of the Johnsonian Foreign Office when it comes to helping Britons in the Middle East, perhaps this is for the best. If Iraq has truly adopted Blairite moral standards, a casual confirmation of the unfortunate gentleman's guilt might place him at risk of indefinite detention with torture; and if Iraq has also adopted Blairite standards of hard-headed pragmatism, he might even end up being executed more than once.