A Profiteer is Not Without Honour, But in Her Own Country

So proud is Grantham of its heritage, and so keen to blaze forth its historical significance without fear or favour, that a brazen image depicting one of the town's less appealing offspring has been put up without ceremony, and atop a ten-foot plinth in order to foil any woke decapitations. Baroness Thatcher is shown in Ruritanian national costume (her House of Lords robes, sans handbag), glaring down upon the beneficiaries of her ideology with hands crossed at the crotch like Hitler in front of the Eiffel Tower. A ceremonial unveiling was initially planned, at the cost of between three and five nurses' yearly salaries; but such was the local council's faith in the private sector's willingness to cover the expense that the idea was abandoned after a few weeks. Despite all precautions, at least one enterprising citizen managed to hit the old bag with an egg within two hours of her being sneaked into place; and all Britain's enemies within will doubtless wait with due reverence upon the prospect of further indignities.