From May to Mini-May

Readers whose memories are as long and unforgiving as your correspondent's may recall a time when the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns was a quite distinct department from the Ministry for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets. Admittedly, this was some while ago: so long ago, in fact, that it was still customary in that era for ministers of the Crown, once caught breaking the rules, to resign or be dismissed from office. One such resignation was that of Priti Patel, whom Tumbledown Tessie sacked from Wogs, Beads and Trinkets for holding unofficial meetings while on official business, and who has now been questioned by that same Tumbledown Tessie over whether her Rwandan Konsentrasiekamp system will perpetuate Britain's labour shortage cheaply enough. Tumbledown Tessie, who originated the hostile environment and did not noticeably resign over her department's criminal deportation of black Britons, claimed to be against the Rwanda gulag on grounds of legality, practicality and efficiency; all of which self-evidently weighed heavy upon her robust Anglican conscience when some incompetent old bag appointed Boris Johnson to Wogs, Frogs and Huns.