Your Lighthouse Lab is a Stalinist Ivory Tower

Despite all that has been achieved through sheer pluck, gumption and entrepreneurial fortitude, including world-beating profits for the right sort of people and the demise of a hundred and eighty-five thousand expendables, mere experts inexplicably continue to tout, of all things, public health measures. As part of its continuing battle for common sense against ideological fanaticism, the Government has shut down the Sage advisory group with its unhealthy real-world obsession; closed the Lighthouse laboratories which so impudently interrupted the managed decline of British public health research; and delivered several more kicks in the stomach to those NHS staff who have yet to take the hint. Nevertheless, a few absent-minded boffins have apparently failed to notice that the pandemic has been officially declared at an end; that all those tedious precautions have been dropped in time for the Conservative Party's Springtime for Churchill rah-and-blah; and that investment is at last being moved into worthier causes than merely protecting the plebs.