We've Got Your Number

Enemies of the people have once more attempted to impose their Nazi-Soviet woke cancellations upon an innocent and unsuspecting Ministry for Wog Disposal. Unelected experts at the high court have ruled that a secret policy of confiscating asylum seekers' phones and stealing their private data was unlawful, on the piffling grounds that Parliament had not approved it and that the Ministry had misinterpreted its own extensive legal powers of bullying, intimidation, harrassment and other manifestations of British fair play. The intelligence database for storing the stolen information was named Project Sunshine, presumably an hommage to the Murdoch guiding light from which Her Majesty's Government takes its moral complexion. It remains as yet unclear whether the Ministry will seek to have the ruling overturned, perhaps in the European Court of Human Rights.