New Bungs for Old Chums

Of all the mean and nasty and criminal aspects of Russia's invasion of Ukraine, the meanest and nastiest and most criminal is of course the fact that it has been carried out with no particular advantage to British weapons dealers. Accordingly, the National Johnson has taken the opportunity to strengthen his personal bonds with Whitehall's favourite fundamentalist head-choppers, whose rampage in Yemen has been such a paragon of profitability for the right sort of people. The National Johnson made some noises about weaning the West from its addiction to Russian fossil fuels: an addiction which occurred largely because the West wished to rid itself of dependence on fossil fuels from the Middle East. Evidently the Churchillian hagiographer's research team has not carried its Wikipedia research to quite so recent a point in history, or else has thus far failed to simplify the facts to a degree sufficient for admission to the Johnson cranium. Noises were also made about the head-chopping House of Saud's human rights record, so with an access of near-Johnsonian wit the Saudis chose the same day to add three more to the year's bag of executions. The master diplomat himself burbled that noises about human rights were best made in private, presumably so that the requisite sniggering can be carried out at the appropriate duration and intensity with no risk of being misunderstood. With his domestic difficulties only temporarily in abeyance, it is also just possible that the National Johnson recalled the House of Saud's granting of asylum to Idi Amin, late of the King's African Rifles, whose political sophistication and personal self-restraint were uncannily reminiscent of Johnson's own.