Greedy Pigs

A force of absolute destruction is bearing down upon the Canadian city of Edmonton - destroying grasslands, wetlands and water systems; consuming without discrimination; tearing up the natural environment in order to make its filthy home; and contaminating everyone's water with its waste. The prosperity of this most entrepreneurial animal has been implicated in the decline of twenty-two plant species and four amphibian species; not to mention the violation of Christian cars and graveyards without the excuse of religious fanaticism, and cataclysmic rates of garbage exposure. In short, it appears that North America's feral hogs have finally gotten above themselves, and are beginning to behave as if they had a right to act like human beings, or even (whisper it) like Murcans. They can be distinguished from the latter only by their maximum weight of one hundred kilograms and by their willingness to eat their neighbours' pets for mere nourishment rather than moral principle. Naturally, the only solution is to exterminate them tribe by tribe.