Wide Open Beaks

In yet another of those charming little coincidences that seem to haunt the lives of so many charming little members, a Conservative MP who opposes the reintroduction of eagles in the wild turns out to have benefited from a £14,000 campaign contribution by a shooting estate. Eagles are anathema to nice people because they kill for vulgar and unrefined reasons such as nourishment. Also, their predatory presence tends to make game birds skittish, and the only thing more unfair to the English aristocrat than a moving target is a target that can shoot back. Thanks to this sporting attitude, white-tailed eagles have been extinct in our animal-loving isles for over a century, and the member for West Dorset would be more than happy to keep it that way. The member for West Dorset is a stout British yeoman, a son of toil and soil, and a believer in real police who focus on real crimes rather than merely on things that are forbidden by law, such as the killing of rare species. Naturally, in the face of these overriding moral imperratives, few crass materialistic considerations were further from the forefront of the member's mind than some long-ago bung from a sanguinary squillionaire.