Upright Citizens

It seems the great British public are not the only ones who have difficulty dealing with the more rambunctious elements of their heritage. Archaeologists in Peru have put up a nine-foot crimson replica of a pre-Columbian fertility symbol, only to suffer an armed assault by the forces of repression. Hooded vandals held the guard at knife-point while they forcibly penetrated the statue and damaged its five-foot endowment. Reportedly, they also discharged their noisy little substitutes into the air as they pulled out. Several people have objected to the idea of children being exposed to rampant masculine sexuality, even though a Roman Catholic education is mandatory in Peruvian state schools; but whether the vandals were acting on their behalf remains as yet unclear.