Tastelessly Bronzed

Rebellious colonists in Puerto Rico, to which the native and now piously genocided Taino gave the less capitalistic name of Boriken, have de-pedestalled a statue of the local conquistador mere hours before a visit by the current monarch of the original colonising power. Felipe VI of Spain is visiting to commemorate the five hundredth anniversary of the capital's founding; the statue was that of one Juan Ponce de León, whose record as a mass murderer, slaver and thief was such that even a Catholic priest changed his mind about joining in. This aspect of the great man's career the well-mannered press report decorously omits to mention, stating only that Ponce de León eventually became Puerto Rico's first governor. His statue was forged in New York a decade and a half before the colony was seized by the United States, using bronze from captured British cannons; which may possibly explain why no squeals of outrage on behalf of violated history have been forthcoming from the worshippers of such graven images as Colston, Clive and Churchill.