Justifiable Homicide

Doubtless for the same weighty moral reasons that caused Him to prevent His servant, the sixteenth Daddy Goodspeak, from acting against endemic child abuse, God sat back on His heavenly throne and treated His dupes to another spectacular display of divine compassion as a couple of dozen people were crushed to death as they attended a mass grovel in Monrovia. Eleven children and a pregnant woman died after the crowd was attacked by street-gang members wielding knives, whose mischief was blithely tolerated by the benign Omniscience. Although the dead have presumably gone to their just reward, the Liberian president declared three days of mourning and recommended that prayer ceremonies be regulated in order to keep more martyrs out of Heaven's clutches. Given the Father's timeless perspective and His demonstrable addiction to collective chastisement, we may take it that the deaths were inflicted in order to punish Liberians in advance for this deplorable lack of faith.