The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, December 07, 2021

Model Democracy

We are the very model of a modern British Government;
We've patriotic platitudes and racialistic otherment;
We'll blithely break a treaty with a treacherous and foreign dog,
And happily deport a darkie or a ghastly Euro-wog.

Because our major interests are mostly egotistical,
We have no truck with vexing regulations legalistical;
We've laws for little people in the order hierarchical,
And for our wealthy chums a spot of something more anarchical.

Our promises are almost worth inhaling to enunciate;
Our flaws we blame on shirkers, wogs and other ugly whims of fate;
With blatancy of crookedness and disregard for covenant,
We are the very model of a modern British Government.

We are the very model of a modern British Government:
A pustular furuncle of corruption and of blunderment,
Derailing public transport from the comfort of a limousine,
Then flying in a jet to lecture lesser breeds on going green.

We cannot let Democracy fall prey to any skittishness
That leads to higher taxes or some other anti-Britishness.
When plague is running rampant in the nation, we're concerned of course,
But keep our head for business and pay medics with sincere applause.

We'll sell you down the river and then charge you transportation fees,
And then you'll re-elect us when we burble Freedom of the Seas.
We'll kick you in the knackers and we'll fuck you up the fundament;
We are the very model of a modern British Government.

with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan

3 Comments:

  • At 7:43 pm , Anonymous Dave. said...

    Woderful stuff Philip; first rate.

     
  • At 9:18 pm , Anonymous The Judge said...

    Bravissimo! I hope someone sees this who can actually record it and put it 'out there'; it deserves a wider audience.

     
  • At 8:40 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Thanks, both. In stealing from a first-rate source, I take pride in the fact that I did not resort to the lowly tactics of Tom Lehrer, who shoehorned the Periodic Table into Sullivan's tune by the blatantly American tactic of missing a vowel out of "aluminium".

     

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