Unworthy Partners

Disgraceful that our sewage-perfumed seas
Should be polluted with these filthy wogs;
Our wars have made so many refugees
That decency dictates we blame the Frogs.

Our allies once, if worthless and abject,
With treacherous ingratitude they let
Our gallant sailors watch invaders wrecked:
Cannot the French defend us from this threat?

We honest Britons like to keep things short.
There isn't really much we need to say,
Except: Trafalgar! Crécy! Agincourt!
Whose bloody channel is it, anyway?

D Porter-Maule