Suspension of Disbelief

Mere experts have once again conspired with reality to throw a trendy-lefty spanner into the National Johnson's great public works programme. A feasibility study of the plan, if plan is the word I want, to chuck a garden bridge over that Irish Sea thingy, or else drill a bit of a hole, has concluded that both projects are within the realm of physical possibility. This makes them a substantial improvement on, for example the Conservative Party doctrine that medical personnel can subsist on applause, or the religious dictum that there must simultaneously be and not be a border between the United Kingdom of Global Britain and Northern Ireland and the lands of the lesser breeds. However, the hidebound ideological straitjacket of metropolitan élitist engineering has caused the authors of the report to politicise their findings and throw in all sorts of irrelevances, such as treasonous Fenian railway gauges and some silly old nucular waste. In the world of Global Britain, such trifling obstacles would of course be subsumed in the pluck and gumption of our entrepreneurial phlegm, or else blamed on lazy workers and foreign saboteurs; and as for radioactive waste, that's why God and the press gave the Conservatives the north of England.