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As all British patriots are aware, the only genuine facts about the Nazis are that they were defeated by Mr Churchill with help from some American chums, and that their crimes against the Jews led to the Righteous State of Israel and were therefore a Good if slightly overdone Thing. Unlike mighty Global Britain, the Nazis also had sufficient pride to conquer foreign countries before setting up concentration camps in them, rather than going about the racism business like a complete Dominic Raab. According to a report in the Murdoch Times, the Deputy Johnson and Minister for Profitable Incarceration is attempting to mend fences with our enemies in Europe by inquiring whether any of them will assume the honour of serving as prison camps for unwanted wogs, or for those deemed unworthy of Britishness on any other reasonably practicable grounds. Among the privileged lesser breeds are the Albanians, presumably because the National Johnson's classical education led him to believe that their country was full of white people. Despite this erroneous etymological œncomium, a response that can only be called ungracious has emerged from several people with funny foreign names, including one whose name was so foreign and funny that the Murdoch Times was too busy sniggering to assign the correct gender to its owner. The Albanian foreign minister more than repaid the compliment, referring to the Murdoch Times, with almost excessively hostile irony, as a "respected paper."