Private Functions

Her Majesty's Government considers unacceptable the amount of sewage that is discharged by water companies into British rivers. Doubtless this explains why the party that put Owen Paterson in charge of the environment has just reached a compromise between permitting continued dumping and not permitting continued dumping: namely to permit continued dumping. A flunkey deplored the vile calumny that the Government was somehow legalising the dumping of sewage, but forgot to mention why the assertion is inaccurate: the dumping of sewage has been legal all along, and Her Majesty's Government has every intention of keeping it that way. Nevertheless, in a token gesture of appeasement to the Huntin', Shootin' and Fishin' constituencies who might not care for the prospect of truite à la merde on next season's menu, moisture provision profiteers will be compelled to reduce the flow of effluent as rapidly as suits their fiscal convenience.