At the Going Down of the F-35

In keeping with the spirit of the times, the aircraft carrier HMS Her Madge Gawblesser has wound up a tour of the Empire by losing £100 million worth of taxpayers' toys in the Mediterranean. The ship is returning to Blighty after vigorously debating the Eastern Question with the Fighting Sons of Blair, and the aircraft crashed into the sea during a "routine operation." Although an investigation is in progress, the Johnson administration's Ministry for Wog-Bombing came over most uncommonly coy about commenting; so it remains as yet unclear whether the action was anything so noble as a kamikaze run against potential stealers of British jobs.