A Good Clean War

Patriots will rejoice, if they know what is good for them, that on the ever-decreasing list of functioning British institutions the hostile environment continues high. An inquest has found that an asylum seeker was pursued by half-trained, baton-swinging hirelings onto a carwash roof, from which he fell and sustained fatal injuries. The swarming horde in question, who had fled the kind of persecution Her Majesty's Government doesn't much care about, had somehow conceived the mistaken idea that he was about to be arrested and deported, despite the Home Office's long record of calm, rational and wholly non-racist reasonability on the subject. In response to the inquest jury's vexatious verdict, a spokesbeing for the Ministry of Wog Control oozed the usual expressions of regret and claims of lessons learned; by which it presumably meant that asylum seekers are henceforth to be chased to death by the Royal Navy, in the English Raw Sewage Disposal Channel where victory will turn out less messy.