Transparent Innocence

Those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear; which doubtless explains why Her Majesty's Government has spent the past year refusing to release documents that would make clear the lily-white purity in the conduct of a former Cabinet minister. Owen Paterson, who as a climate change denialist was appointed Minister for Floods, Badger-busting and the Environment in the Bullingdon Club's first administration, has been caught lobbying for two private companies which retain him as a "consultant." Like many a happy-go-lucky politician before him, Paterson does not consider representing his constituents to be a full-time job, and the stipend he receives from the Covid profiteers outweighs his parliamentary salary by some twenty thousand pounds. Hence, in accordance with market forces, he is a "consultant" first and a parliamentarian second; which will presumably be taken into account by his fellow expenses claimants when they vote on whether to be tough on crime by letting Paterson off his thirty-day suspension.