The Realism Business

Pragmatic moderation has joined with sensible decency at the dynamic centre of the plinth of entrepreneurial practicality with just a naughty touch of jingo, as the shadow minister for business called upon the National Johnson to grow up and bring the Heathen Chinee to heel like a proper British viceroy. The National Johnson, it will be remembered, has already sent a gunboat down the Strait of Formosa; but the Heathen Chinee have subtly and enigmatically ignored him and are continuing to expand their use of fossil fuels. The Western Powers, having strained their sinews for two centuries getting the carbon dioxide count past four hundred and twenty parts per million, consider it only fair that the Heathen Chinee should bear the burden of getting it back down again; but the fiendish Orientals evidently see things from quite another slant. Concerned lest the Cop26 blah-blah should prove a wasted opportunity, despite the recent track record of the host country in meeting its international obligations and co-operating with its neighbours, the Milibeing urged the National Johnson to start acting like a statesman, since no moderate realist worthy of the title could deny that his performance would convince simply everybody. Unfortunately, a pedantic extremist from Greenpeace was on hand to reiterate the only fact that really matters; namely that come heat and high water for the plebs and the poor, the consequences of the climate emergency will not be borne by those mainly responsible for causing it.