Borderline Hard

Some former allies of Tumbledown Tessie have given the National Johnson three weeks to solve the Irish Question. Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom, and the Democratic Unionist Party doesn't see why Ulster should not have its share of shortages, staffing crises and kinks in the supply chain. In fact, the master race has already done much to whip the beastly Euro-wogs into shape, with the simplest trade negotiator in history renewing his threats to thimply thqueam and thqueam and thqueam until the EU repudiates the treaty negotiated and signed by Lord Frost. In keeping with his own party's long history of pragmatic realism and powers of cool-headed judgement, the DUP's leader emerged from a meeting "greatly encouraged" by whatever blatherings and burblings the National Johnson may have eructated in order to get him out of the room.