We Shall Fight on the Shelves

Those among the Fifty-Two Per Cent whose jobs were stolen by beastly Euro-wogs are rushing rather slowly to fill the vacancies in the food and haulage industries, resulting in empty shelves and a precipitous decline in exports from the mainland to the Continent. Thus the Brusso-Strasbourgian enemy is being systematically starved of British meat and dairy products, although some of them are filling up on whisky and salmon provided by the treacherous Celts. Doubtless owing to ideological fanaticism on the part of the Nazi-Soviet bureaucratic state, the timetable for unconditional surrender remains as yet unclear; as does the extent to which Global Britain's new and free trading agreements with Japan and Australia will enable us to win the subsequent peace.