Mission Accomplished

As Mr Churchill once observed, when one side fights and the other does not, the war is apt to become a little uneven; but such airy-fairy leftist quibbles are lost upon the shock troops of the modern Conservative Party, and Ministers of the Crown are reacting to the abrupt termination of the latest Anglo-Afghan War with an expectable degree of dignified stoicism. Apparently unaware of which party he belongs to and what its basic policy has been for at least the past decade, the Secretary of State for Wog-Bombing squealed that experienced staff had been abruptly removed leaving untrained youths to perform complicated tasks, as though the armed forces were the civil service, the police or the NHS. No less sensibly, the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Holidays squealed that nobody anticipated the Taliban making rapid advances once Britain's Trumpsterland allies put their tails between their legs and fled. Both ministries stand shoulder to shoulder in their concern over some four thousand deserving Afghans whom the Home Office will now be able to deport onto the Taliban's tender mercies at the Government's electoral covenience, citing the same imperfect paperwork which the Government has been so foresighted as to arrange.