Now We Must Be Pure

It certainly is jolly fortunate that the Conservative Party has absolved its own lily-white soul of the stain of systemic racism, otherwise the actions of the police and crime commissioner for Leicester might fall victim to a nasty misunderstanding. Rupert Matthews, a new broom with all the accumulated expertise of seventy-two hours in post, has ordered his office staff to maintain social distancing from his inferiors in Black Lives Matter UK, on the grounds that such people approve of recent Conservative policy as regards police funding, and that they have desecrated Conservative Party property in London. Although Matthews ejaculated a blog entry about his boardroom machismo, a spokesbeing was later extruded to strike a more tolerant note and to emphasise the great man's support for BLM activists who know their place. Since there is no local BLM organisation in Leicester, the extent of the likely moral improvement remains as yet unclear.