Confidence Men

Doubtless to the relief of lesser breeds, Her Majesty's Government has announced that it has no immediate plans to start a war with the Heathen Chinee. The Royal Navy is leading a colonial fleet in some Far Eastern exercises, but there is unlikely to be a repetition of the incident three years ago when a pubescent fireplace salesman decided to have a bit of fun; or even of the incident two months ago when the Johnson administration was considering a new Crimean war to supplement our social progress. Amid burbles of confidence without confrontation (in gunnery terms, resounding barrels and empty breeches), Her Majesty's Government plans, if plan is the verb I want, to assign two warships to the region in order to contain Heathen Chinee aggression, enforce the Freedom of the Seas, and no doubt control the opium trade into the bargain.