The Romans in Britain

Since the Church of England sprang from Henry Tudor's gonads in the sixteenth century, England has had only a handful of Catholic rulers; among them the noted culture warrior Bloody Mary, the would-be despot James II, and the Reverend Tony Blair who demonstrated his usual brand of moral courage by keeping his faith secret until after he left office. Now that another, almost equally controlled set of gonads has brought our present leader crashing back into the papal bosom, it is to be hoped that this plucky penetration by the rampant spirit of Britishness will enable the Vatican's greed, hypocrisy, self-righteousness, exclusionism and sexual creepiness to be entrepreneurially efficientised in line with those of the Conservative Party.