Chopper Trouble

Unpatriotic and backsliding persons have cast doubt upon, of all things, the National Haystack's commitment to mitigating the climate catastrophe. The Haystack was due in the Midlands to rah-rah a bike hire scheme; and although he managed to stop short of claiming credit for inventing the scheme, he did eschew the cleaner but inconveniently plebeian railway in favour of a helicopter registered to a company chaired by one of his squillionaire chumlies. It was Britain's former Head Boy, the present Lord Puce of Greensill, who pioneered the Bullingdon Club's version of sustainable transport, pedal-pushing for the paparazzi while his limousine followed behind; but the man who spent eight glorious years poisoning Londoners with illegal levels of air pollution could hardly be expected to keep his hypocrisy on so rudimentary a level. Nevertheless, it seems increasingly likely that a dim view will be taken at the forthcoming Bozza Saves the World bash, especially by some of the more mean-spirited piccaninnies.