You Just Can't Get the Gays These Days

Mere days have elapsed since Her Majesty's Government suffered the sting of ingratitude from all those contributors to the Sewell report whose racial prejudices were so patriotically corrected in the final draft; yet still there seems a certain lack of trust among the kind of people the Bullingdon Club likes to snigger at. The Ministry for Women, Wogs and Tokenism has had to disband its LGBT advisory panel after even the self-confessed gay evangelical Christians realised they were being duped. The panel was established by Tumbledown Tessie, doubtless to her own regret when the members started agitating for the abolition of "conversion therapy" (brainwashing, in Standard English), a process likely held in high regard among pious Conservatives and their Democratic Unionist chums as a civilised alternative to castration and burning. Her Majesty's Government has made noises about making the practice illegal, but the echt-Trumpster ethos of the Stratton-Symonds administration and its silly blond front-muppet is probably more suited to Christians of the gay-baiting variety than to those of a less Biblical cast of instinct.