Whuppin' Hisself into Context

Having embarrassed his masters and been told to go back to his hut and think again, Uncle Tony Sewell has made a few little amendments to his essay on how non-racist our nation of statue-loving migrant-bashing Windrush-deporters really is. Some of the more clearly fraudulent citations have been removed, and Seamus Heaney has been superseded in Britishness by the Guyanese-born author of a novel called Jonestown, which came out a year before the Reverend Blair ascended unto the executive chairmanship of UKoolAid™ plc. Uncle Tony Sewell has also put in some small print to "clarify" a controversial note that the slave trade was not just about "profit and suffering." As should no doubt have been obvious all along, Uncle Tony and his chums meant nothing other than to glorify the preservation of African culture and the story of slave resistance. It remains as yet unclear what the consequences will be for Uncle Tony now that he claims to be glorifying Africans' refusal to assimilate and play by the rules; but self-evidently Tacky's rebellion, the Haitian Revolution and the Baptist War were all pure Britishness in action, and only the leftist intransigence of the teaching industry can explain their lack of prominence in the history curriculum.