The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, April 06, 2021

Wheeler Dealer

Mere experts have accused Her Majesty's Government of using all sorts of rather sophisticated dodges to understate the environmental impact of its road-building plans by a factor of up to a hundred; and this despite the fact that the Department for Motoring is run by the blithering wideboy Grant Shapps and his colleagues Michael Green and Sebastian Fox. Vexatious do-gooders are seeking a judicial review of the Government's "largest ever investment in English strategic roads" rah rah, which includes the strategic assault against the treacherously pre-English archaeological heritage at Stonehenge. The lefty lawyers claim that the Government has omitted forty-five out of fifty schemes from its calculations, failed to take account of emissions from the construction process, and limited its forecasts to a point when some schemes will still be incomplete; all of which sounds a bit over-elaborate for Shapps and Company, who most likely preferred the straightforward no-nonsensism of having all the numbers totted up and then deleting a couple of digits off the end. There is also no cumulative figure for the damage, probably because Shapps thinks a cumulative is a sort of cloud. The Department for Motoring argues that it has a forthcoming plan thingy which will resolve absolutely everything; which is certainly at least as believable as anything else Shapps and Company have ever said.

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