The Father of Teeth

Text for today: Dentures ccclxxi-ccclxxxix

This is by no means to be confused, however, with the time when the Father of Teeth came upon a Neanderthal sitting amid fragments of flints, from which she picked up occasional shards and bashed them with chunks of stone. The Neanderthal's brows were ridged like the openings to caves of bone, and the slope of her forehead was as smooth and knobbly as a recent landslide; and when the Father of Teeth saw her he gave her his most multifaceted grin, and the evening and the morning were the first day.

When the dawn came, the Neanderthal threw flints at the Father of Teeth, and the Father of Teeth bit them into shape and threw them back. He bit them with his incisors, so that they formed edges for cutting and scraping; only the flints were slightly cleaner, and the evening and the morning were the second day.

When the dawn came again, the Neanderthal threw flints at the Father of Teeth, and the Father of Teeth gnawed them into shape and threw them back. He gnawed them with his canines, so that they formed points for stabbing and piercing; only the flints were slightly warmer, and the evening and the morning were the third day.

When the dawn, having no imagination, came yet again, the Neanderthal threw flints at the Father of Teeth, and the Father of Teeth chewed them into shape and threw them back. He chewed them with his molars, so that they formed files and hammers for grinding and crushing; only the flints were slightly softer, and on that day the Father of Teeth rested, and he and the Neanderthal squatted opposite one another and grinned.

But on that same day the Creator of the universe happened by, and saw the Neanderthal and the Father of Teeth resting and grinning at one another, and decided that it wouldn't do at all. So the Creator of the universe sent the scourge of Homo sapiens ipsedixit, and the Neanderthal was made extinct and the Father of Teeth found it expedient to be elsewhere. Only the flints continued to flourish and evolve, until the rocks were rent and the evening and the morning were the last day.