Mongol Invasion

In the past five weeks Beijing has been hit by three major sandstorms, which have caused deterioration in the city's air quality beyond even Boris Johnson's law-busting achievements in London. Although they have just about mastered the standard British precaution in such circumstances, viz. blaming foreigners, the Heathen Chinee still have some way to go before they can hope to evade a dose of good-natured finger-wagging from the National Haystack at his rah-and-blah-let's-save-the-planet thingy this November. The sandstorms originate in Mongolia, but rather than denouncing and deporting everyone who looks a bit Yuan Dynasty, the Beijing city authorities have resorted to planting trees. It seems that the notoriously callow civilisation of the Heathen Chinee has thus far failed to hit upon the kind of moderate, sensible and non-ideological response which has been standard practice for Her Majesty's Government since legitimate and understandable concerns immemorial.