Nukes Not Nurses

Among the numerous woke and entrepreneur-stifling international obligations from which Global Britain has pluckily cut itself loose is, of course, the one about not committing genocide, whether in defence of our way of life or as a result of the ever-happy relationship between Her Majesty's Government and its electronical Babbage computating engines. The strategic review of Britain's new, independently independent nuclear deterrent is expected to increase the quantity of those warheads which have done such a wonderful job deterring such menaces to our democracy as illegal prorogation of Parliament, arbitrary withdrawal of citizenship and the forthcoming voter suppression programme. There has been some unpatriotic speculation that the whole idea is a bit of fiscal throat-clearing, as the Minister for Wog-Bombing has already instructed our American subordinates to hurry up and provide us with an even more independent deterrent than before. Then again, given that the greatest threat to our way of life is anthropogenic climate change, it's always possible that Whitehall's more visionary factions, just in time for the Boris Johnson Climate Rah-rah in November, have hit upon a handy push-button solution.