Brazen Ingratitude

Treacherous elements among the beastly Euro-wogs are conspiring with the beneficiaries of Empire to undermine the glorious reputation of Britain's heroic colonial history. The Ethnological Museum in Berlin is negotiating to return more than five hundred historical objects which were collected from what used to be British and is now merely Nigeria. Hundreds of bronze artefacts are among the victims, though it remains as yet unclear how many are worshipful images of Cecil Rhodes, or even Sir Richard Burton; and the negotiations themselves are a calculated snub to the Global British Museum. The Museum's collection was assembled during a bit of a rah-rah by our brave boys during the Jubilee year of 1897: a punitive expedition by patriotic necessity, in due and proportionate response to the unpardonable provocation of attacking a British business force. Although the collateral damage was so biased towards the lesser breeds as to be unworthy of calculation at the time, the Museum has fully acknowledged the devastation and plunder wreaked during the British cultural exploration. It is certainly to be commended that the beneficiaries of British looting should at last condescend to admit that devastation and plunder might have been going on concurrently with the same. Nevertheless, the Museum has no plans to return the bronzes, believing that its strength resides in the depth and breadth of its collection and in the British fair play of inherited smash and grab.