We Sovereignly Bask in our Plucky Little Shrewdness

We are all aware, because the censored and silenced protectors of our sacred slave-holding statuary never tire of reminding us, that the process of regaining British independence from the beastly Euro-wogs was the titanic result of an unsinkable will of the people, motivated entirely by an enlightening and efficientising concern with cutting red tape and preventing free movement of the lesser breeds. By one of those strangely benignant turns of fate, of that divinely mysterious variety whereby the beneficiaries of government contracts frequently turn out to be chums of the relevant ministers, the timing of the revolution has enabled Global Britain to avoid the latest self-inflicted torpedo to rock the foundering Graf Spee that is the Brusso-Strasbourgian empire. Ever attuned to the latest trends and always ahead of the games of lesser breeds, the great British public's will to leave the Nazi-Soviet stranglehold coincides more or less exactly with the Trumpian will of corporate tax-dodgers not to vulgarise their fiscal affairs by exposing their nakedness before the prying, prurient eyes of unelected bureaucrats. Once properly acclimatised to the sunny uplands, no doubt the gratitude of British business will be palpable.