Let's Have Our Coke and Eat it Too

Even though the silly blond mascot of the Stratton-Symonds administration is pledged upon his word of British honour to lead a green industrial revolution, certain bigots of a scientific bent remain unhelpfully sceptical. At least one professor, whose copy-book is already badly blotted thanks to his collaboration with those interfering foreigners at the UN, has made one of those gaffes so characteristic of the merely expert by not getting behind the Government's plans to revitalise the coal industry. Doubtless motivated by nostalgia for the good old days of sitting-room fireplaces, pit-ponies and choke-damp, the Conservatives have authorised a new fossil fuel calamity in Cumbria, and the relevant minister, Robert Jenrick, has not overruled the local authority because the relevant porn baron, Richard Desmond, has not told him to. In addition, forty expenses claimants wrote to the leader of Cumbria council claiming a sudden attack of concern for jobs in the north of England: an issue which usually worries Conservative expenses claimants about as much as the climate crisis does. Yet in the very teeth of all these reasons for rah-rah, scientists persist in their unpatriotic reliance on facts and their hopelessly literal interpretation of reality as being somehow synonymous with what actually happens.