Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

Our noble Prime Miniſter is pledged upon his Honour, to make a cartographick Proclamation within the next ten Days, wherein that ſtraight and narrow Road will be mapped, which will bring our great Nation through the dark Foreſt of monſtruous Inconvenience, to the bright Sunſhine of finall glorious Reckoning with the Woo Han Peſtilence and its Allies among the beaſtlie French, beſides thoſe foul domeſtick Traytors who have greatly increaſed the national Agonies with their perſiſtent horrid Threats towards our Statuary. It is rumoured, that the Woo Han Peſtilence hath been ſcheduled by the great Man, to ſuccumb to our Britiſhneſs during the early Part of March, wherein the generall Reſuming of infant Labour is now contemplated; and ſhould Matters prove ſo fortunate, that Caſualties among the Children then remain within moderate and acceptable Limits, we may expect by about the middle of Spring-time a near complete Return to our accuſtomed Life of dining-out. foreign Holidays and rigorous Recruitment of Body-ſervants. It hath been proclaimed alſo, in ſcrupulous Accord with my own ſuggeſted Policy in ſundry Items of comprehenſive though as yet unanſwered Correſpondence, that the Surgeons and their Accomplices ſhall be properly ſhook up, which all reaſonable Perſons will agree is a moſt proper and reaſonable Reſponſe to their perſiſtent Pedantries and Divergences from all that is patriotick and beating of the Worl, though it remaineth as yet unclear preciſely how many Nurſes and Apothecaries will actually be hanged, flogged or placed in the Pillory.