False Hope

Now that the master race has attained its glorious liberty from the Nazi-Soviet bureaucracy of the beastly Euro-wogs, it is natural that plucky little ministers should seek to impose East German levels of punishment for not having the right papers. Nevertheless, vexatious pessimists and enemies of the people are waving their subversive jackboots in yet another attempt to darken the sunlit uplands with melanin-rich clouds of treacherous unpatriotism. Amid the usual woke-lefty militancy about liberty and debate, the chair of the Law Society's criminal law committee even went so far as to imply that the powers and prerogatives of the Gove-Symonds administration are not yet equivalent to those of Henry VIII. More pragmatically, the chair of the 1922 Committee for Imperial Alter Kämpfer raged impotently at the blond beast's penal inadequacy, protesting that it demeans Her Majesty's Government to suggest locking up teenagers for ten years while so much of the country still does not consist of prisons.