Clanger in the Cathedral

Moved by the usual gross materialistic concerns, a multitude some six times more numerous than the beneficiaries of the old bread-and-fish trick has petitioned the Heavenly Father's gate-keepers at Burgos Cathedral, who have spent over a million euros on three lumbering lumps of kitsch metalwork. The bronze portals depict the Father, His child-bride and His nasty little offspring blandly enough, although the Son might appear in uncharitable eyes to be wandering beneath the monster from The Quatermass Experiment without having switched on his light-sabre. Since the monster from The Quatermass Experiment was electrocuted in Westminster Abbey, this touch of historical accuracy will doubtless prove pleasing to the faithful. Beyond their crimes against taste, the cathedral authorities have been criticised for spending so much on expensive art-work when there are people going hungry in the city and no central heating in the building. The response was that no public money had been used: surely the church, like the rich man in the parable, can do as it likes with its own regardless of the welfare of others. Similarly, the freezing of the old folk in their pews merely means that they will attain their spiritual reward all the sooner, while the Church humbly condescends to dispose of whatever legacies may follow.