An Interbritannic Tunnel, Hurrah

Adults and other pessimists have derided the latest wizard wheeze for ensuring frictionlessness of Britishness between the island of Great Britain and the English colony of Northern Ireland. Since the idea of digging a hole beneath the Irish Sea was concocted by an industry rah-and-blah club rather than by the National Haystack himself, even members of the Parliamentary Brexit Party felt safe in having a pop at it; meanwhile, the director of the Northern Ireland Retail Consortium demonstrated almost Euro-wog levels of disloyalty by implying that a bit of cold water spiced with sarin and mustard gas might possibly prove a match for the pluck and gumption of Global Britain. The one critic who refrained from pouring scorn, and who confined himself to observing that economic and constitutional frictionlessnesses are more important than physical ones, was a member of the Democratic Unionist Party; which touchingly illuminates the whole concept in all its general sanity.