Not You-Foes, But You-Whaps

Perhaps not coincidentally now that the Trumpster and his hydrophobic head-tribble are about to be forced from their planetary throne, the CIA has declassified 2700 pages of documents on UFOs. Cunningly, an outdated format has been used, making the documents difficult to utilise for any earthly purpose; although the agency has taken the significant patriotic step of making up its own acronym (unidentified aerial phenomenon, rather than unidentified flying object), which will doubtless have far-reaching consequences. Last year the US Department of Kicking Ass created a task force for the detection, analysation and catalogification of UAPs which might pose a threat to national security; though doubtless owing to the inconvenient document format, it remains as yet unclear what stage of research has been reached concerning the Trumpster's head-tribble.