If You Can't Nuke Them

Though inexplicably denied the Nobel Peace Prize despite an enthusiastic nomination by Boris Johnson, the Trumpster and his hydrophobic head-tribble clearly have not given up hope. In valedictory tribute to freedom, democracy and British values, they have designated as terrorists the enemies of Westminster's favourite fundamentalist head-choppers. Like the head-chopping House of Saud, the Houthis have been accused of targeting civilians and routinely imprison and torture dissenters during the ongoing disaster in Yemen; unlike the head-chopping House of Saud, they cannot afford to throw large amounts of money at buccaneering British arms dealers, which makes them very bad people indeed. Nevertheless, the Trumpster's diplomatic coup elicited a whine of indignation from the Lesser Milibeing, who would doubtless have preferred to see the administration march out with a kick to the Chagossians.