Concrete Benefits

While the patriotic Conservative voters of Dover squeal their fury because British independence is happening in their backyards and not those of lesser breeds, a hole has opened up beneath a nearby airport runway which was hastily conscripted into national service as a lorry park. Officials have confirmed that it isn't a sinkhole, and since politicians have kept prudently clear of the area for months it seems unlikely that this particular low-level vacancy is a minister of the Crown. Sabotage by the forces of woke Nazi-Soviet citizens of nowhere has not been explicitly ruled out; and while investigations continue the hole is to be filled in with something slightly less thick, white and fragile than the indignant patriots of Dover.