The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Beastly Foreign Bodies

A swarming horde of asylum seekers, which the Ministry for Wog Control has contained at an army barracks, is very selfishly and un-Britishly spreading disease among itself in order to spite Her Majesty's Government. Despite the dirty foreigners being warehoused nearly thirty to a room, the Covid-19 virus has somehow been allowed to spread among them, which clearly indicates the workings of some fiendish alien malice. Nobody knows how severe the outbreak is, because Her Majesty's Government does not indulge such petty concerns. Nevertheless, when ordered not to leave their plague-bubble, the residents (inmates, in Standard English) proceeded to manifest those irresponsible and destructive attitudes which have so recently led directly to monstrous epidemics of unkind politics and statue-stomping Stalinism. Presumably speaking from a room with fewer than twenty-eight people in it, the charmingly-titled minister for immigration compliance summoned sufficient courage to pronounce himself incredibly disappointed at such disobliging behaviour.

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