To the Victor the Potatoes

We are all aware, because the Parliamentary Brexit Party never tires of saying so between its libertarian bouts of migrant-bashing and Muslim-baiting, that racism has no place in the United Kingdom's politics. Her Majesty's Government will therefore be rather disappointed (or, translated from the British, bright puce and screaming with impotent rage) at the US president-elect's ancestral Irish hatred of international trade. Despite Sir Winston Boris de Pfeffel Churchill's personal victory in the war against cheap Japanese imitations of the British Empire, Biden is apparently more interested in the Middle East and the Heathen Chinee than in helping Global Britain put down the beastly Euro-wogs. Indeed, the fiendish Brusso-Strasbourgian junta has already begun a compromising correspondence in a mean-spirited effort to deny the UK its consolation prize from the Great Game. Nevertheless, all is not lost. Pragmatic and entrepreneurial as ever, Her Majesty's Government is likely to foil the conspiracy by trading beads and trinkets with Asia, which is only twice as far away as America and only slightly more foreign than Europe.