The Italians are Dying Out

The Pope's recent call for somebody or other to do something about the pandemic attains yet greater urgency in light of Italy's falling birth rate. Although successive governments full of bankers, rabble-rousers and migrant-bashers have ensured that employment conditions and the availability of childcare facilities are eminently conducive to female self-sacrifice and discipline, many daughters of Eve are rebelling against the sole God-given excuse for their existence and are shirking their duty to replenish the population. With an exclusively male citizenship fanatically opposed to the artificial creation of human life, Mussolini's theocratic city-state is somewhat limited in its breeding capacity, and within a few short years the economic consequences of the pandemic may result in a catastrophic famine of pure-bred Italian taxpayers. Doubtless the problem is even now being resolved at the highest levels. Thoughts and prayers have so far proven a little exalted for mere worldly efficacy, but their recent role in the Queen's Christmas speech will presumably change all that.