It's All the Same Raj

Those who recall the National Haystack's romp at Tumbledown Tessie's Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns will remember the diplomatic triumph of his Kipling recital in Burma, or Myanmar as the natives now inexplicably refer to it. Nor have the intervening decades as front-man to the Cummings administration done anything to dull his imperial glory, as became clear when an amusingly-dressed Labour MP with a funny name addressed the National Haystack in the House of Expenses Claimants. The question concerned recent protests by Indian farmers, whose demonstrations have been met with water-cannons, tear-gas and other manifestations of British values. Asked to convey Britain's non-existent concern and agree hypocritically that even uppity wogs have a right to peaceful protest, the Haystack burbled something about "what is happening between India and Pakistan," apparently under the impression that all troublesome Indian farmers are beastly Pakistani Muslims. Her Majesty's Government does of course have serious concerns, if not quite serious enough to know what it's concerned about; but the Haystack was at least able to refrain from appointing a Viceroy on the spot.