Economic Migrants

Britain's first farmers may have been beastly Euro-wogs who treacherously infiltrated the mainland over a now submerged archipelago of North Sea islands. Previously connected to Britain by a land-mass called Doggerland, the Continent was largely cut off eight thousand years ago after a catastrophic submarine landslide. A few fragments of the area remained above water, but eventually became submerged, prefiguring the likely fate of the present British Isles thanks to a degree of planning and foresight very nearly as rational and efficient as cutting throats on henges. It remains as yet unclear what repercussions the unsavoury roots of British farming may have upon the present culture war; but since the theory has been advanced by mere experts, upon a basis consisting of little more than facts, the impact on public patriotism is likely to be somewhat less than tsunamic.