Britishness Retention

Now that buccaneering independence from the ghastly Euro-wogs is assured, it appears that the good ship HMS Britishness can expect a rapid and efficient exit by some of its more heeled and squealy rodents. One such is Sir Jim Ratcliffe, a patriotic tax-dodger who had announced plans to build a car factory in Wales, and who has now kept his promise in the grand Johnsonian manner by taking his business to France instead. The merchandise in question is a successor to the Land Rover, which is the great man's favoured mode of transport while biffing around Africa reminding the natives about the wonders of colonialism. The vehicle is so rugged and uncompromising in its Britishness that it was designed by Germans and is called the Grenadier, after a creaky bit of rousing rah-rah supposedly inspired by the siege of Namur, when the beastly French were defeated by some plucky little chaps under the command of a Dutch immigrant.