Traffic is a Two-Way Street

Despite its relaxed attitude to child poverty, Her Majesty's Government has long proclaimed its distaste for child slavery and trafficking and claimed, as usual, to be in the forefront of world-beating in the business of tackling these horrid crimes in which Conservative Party donors are at most indirectly involved. Tumbledown Tessie made a good deal of noise about the issue, presumably because somebody told her that child traffickers are mostly Negroes, Arabs and others of the wog persuasion. As would have been self-evident to any government capable of planning beyond the next news cycle, this means that many of the trafficked children are guilty of a similar dusky hue; and this in turn means, of course, that once they reach the age of eighteen they treacherously and deceitfully turn into asylum seekers. Fortunately, the Ministry for Wog Control has taken all due precautions: of nearly five thousand victims of trafficking recognised between 2015 and 2019, the grand total of those given leave to remain was five hundred and forty-nine adults and twenty-eight children. Doubtless because of its protective instincts, the Government has been rather cagey about how long the children were allowed to stay before qualifying for firm and fair treatment under the hostile environment.